Feelings are not Facts
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control". (Galatians 5:23-24)
In his letter to the Galatians, St. Paul teaches that when we walk by the Holy Spirit, our life changes. The result of that transformation is a life of “joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”. As followers of Christ, we have received the Holy Spirit at our baptism and therefore the seeds of the fruit of the Spirit have been sown in our hearts.
Well-known theologians and Christian thinkers have written volumes on the “fruit of the Spirit”. We can study each attribute individually to grow in our spiritual life. Today I want us to focus on the last attribute - self-control.
The gifts of the Spirit are infused in us but if we want to grow spiritually we ought to have a discipline in our life. Discipline may have a negative connotation but if you examine the word you see that “discipline” and “disciple” share a common root. Discipline, therefore, is training that molds. Self-control is achieved by having discipline in life.
We need to work on our awareness. What area in our life needs self-control? Let’s assume that you are an angry person and you have a hard time controlling your anger. From a behavioral perspective, self-control could be achieved relatively easy; when you feel angry you can apply the SSS model. Stop staying, stop speaking and stop staring. A simple behavioral modification that guarantees immediate results.
Pondering is the 2nd step. Ask yourself where is this feeling coming from? There could be other underlying issues that are masked by anger; such as grief, fear, guilt, and shame. Remember these are all feelings and they need to be treated as such. Feelings are not facts. Feelings come and go. Feelings do change. Don’t let your feelings push you to jump into conclusions. Honor your feelings but don’t act on them. Be aware of your feelings but don’t let your feelings control you. Instead, be controlled by wisdom. Give yourself time to think as feelings subside. Respond when you have a calm and clear mind.
Ask God’s help through the words of St. Nerses the Gracious:
“Jesus, wisdom of the Father, grant me wisdom, that I may, at all times, think, speak and do before You that which is good in Your sight. Save me from evil thoughts, words, and deeds. Have mercy upon me, great sinner that I am”. (In Faith I Confess #11)
Yours,
Well-known theologians and Christian thinkers have written volumes on the “fruit of the Spirit”. We can study each attribute individually to grow in our spiritual life. Today I want us to focus on the last attribute - self-control.
The gifts of the Spirit are infused in us but if we want to grow spiritually we ought to have a discipline in our life. Discipline may have a negative connotation but if you examine the word you see that “discipline” and “disciple” share a common root. Discipline, therefore, is training that molds. Self-control is achieved by having discipline in life.
We need to work on our awareness. What area in our life needs self-control? Let’s assume that you are an angry person and you have a hard time controlling your anger. From a behavioral perspective, self-control could be achieved relatively easy; when you feel angry you can apply the SSS model. Stop staying, stop speaking and stop staring. A simple behavioral modification that guarantees immediate results.
Pondering is the 2nd step. Ask yourself where is this feeling coming from? There could be other underlying issues that are masked by anger; such as grief, fear, guilt, and shame. Remember these are all feelings and they need to be treated as such. Feelings are not facts. Feelings come and go. Feelings do change. Don’t let your feelings push you to jump into conclusions. Honor your feelings but don’t act on them. Be aware of your feelings but don’t let your feelings control you. Instead, be controlled by wisdom. Give yourself time to think as feelings subside. Respond when you have a calm and clear mind.
Ask God’s help through the words of St. Nerses the Gracious:
“Jesus, wisdom of the Father, grant me wisdom, that I may, at all times, think, speak and do before You that which is good in Your sight. Save me from evil thoughts, words, and deeds. Have mercy upon me, great sinner that I am”. (In Faith I Confess #11)
Yours,
Fr. Nareg
Comments
Post a Comment